journal entry 2008

i tend be kind of crabby, if you haven't noticed, and sometimes people ask me if anything makes me happy.  today i was going through some old papers and things, and i found my journal.  you know, you are supposed to write things down in order to work through your feelings and all of that crap.  sometimes, after a few drinks, i actually do it.  my last entry was on april 08, 2008:

hi diary.
i feel like i want to write about my dog, ella.  i get so much joy from her.  i love her so much, so fully, with all of my heart.  i am so terrified of the day when she dies.  she seems healthy and happy, but she is getting old.  i love everything about her--i love the way she smells when i bury my face into her fur, i love her stinky dog breath, and i love when she rolls onto her back exposing her stomach which doesn't happen too often.  Anyway--the reason for this entry is to talk about what makes me happy.  so here goes.  my dog, my cat claudia who is so old, and so beautiful and affectionate for a cat.  rowing my kayak into the center of a lake in the hot sommer sun and then eating lunch there, and reading a good book is about as perfect as it gets.  Cooking for someone that i love makes me happy.  enjoying my guests at work makes me happy. creating does.  going on vacation and exploring new territory makes me happy.  i enjoy talking to my aunt darleen.  remembering people's birthdays makes me happy.  being in the ocean.  singing.  shopping does.  being in a bookstore does.  spending money.  making money.  holding hands with someone i love does.  when my dog lets me snuggle with her.  when my friends need me.  hanging out with maggie, annie, and hayden.  my family, even though i tend to avoid them. and crying does.


so there rachel wandrei.  still bugging me after two years, apparently.